China is a state of ceremonies, having five thousand years of uninterrupted cultural tradition. It is unique in the world. One of the most important reasons for the Chinese nation to succeed in preserving its rich culture over 5000-years of history is the good relationship between people, which promotes a harmonious society and healthy development. People follow the principles of not hurting each other, mutual respect, modesty and politeness. If we had carried mutual struggles into every family, school and work, the Chinese nation would have already been destroyed. For thousands of years, the rule that the Chinese people followed is to be “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”, which is precisely the best manner of getting along with each other. If people have all this five kinds of quality, we will live a life in peace and harmony. There will be no vexed disputes or security threats.

In fact, the manner of getting well along with each other exists in different kinds of civilization. For example, in the UK, people live a gentle life. The gentleman style is similar to being “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”, however the difference between them is that the former emphasizes the outside form, whereas the latter highlights the inside quality. No matter how different they are, what they have in common are the harmonious interpersonal relationships, which ensure the stability and order of our life.

What’s the consequence if people don’t follow the principles of being “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”? Let’s look at the painful lessons of the Cultural Revolution, in which violence replaced gentleness, guilt replaced kindness, scorn replaced respect, waste replaced thriftiness and fight replaced modesty. Ten years of Cultural Revolution cut off the Chinese nation’s thousands of years long cultural tradition, which is a national catastrophe and led to devastating social pain. After that, the Chinese people began to learn western etiquette, using phrases like “thank you”, “sorry” or “excuse me”. During the Cultural Revolution, no one would say “sorry” or even apologize. Although we turn to learn from the West, we are still far from pre-Cultural Revolution or pre-liberation standards of interpersonal relationships. We can often observe people quarreling in the streets, city inspectors scolding and beating somebody. Not to mention people driving and calling one names, robbing the bank, jumping the queue and keeping a straight face, leaving behind the quality of being “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”. Now, we need to come back to be “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”, and maintain the fine traditions, especially considering international relations.

It is a golden saying that be “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”. But when dealing with international relations, we have never used this principle. Not to mention the use of apology in formal documents. On the contrary, we use bad language in fear of losing face to submit to the other side. North and South Korea is a typical example. The manner of China and Japan on Diaoyu Islands is not better. Is it good for the people of the two countries? Tragically, people imperceptibly consider toughness as a way to save face, never thinking if we should be “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”. How are people in both countries beneficial on earth? Is the essence of human civilization only applicable to personal relationship and cannot be used for international relations?[Page]

Events about war and peace are the concern of people in the whole world. The lesson of two World Wars is profound and should be deeply remembered. We need to do a lot of things to abolish war. Governments should implement democratic politics. Democratic countries cannot go to war with each other. Several wars after the World War II occurred mostly in autocracies, or were related to political tyranny. North Korea is an example for that kind of country. Disarmament is an important method to avoid war. Then the proper diplomatic etiquette can prevent sparking a conflict accidentally. The final victims of war are the common people. But the common people are precisely the main force cheated to the battlefield. People’s consciousness is fundamental to eliminate war. Diplomats need to be supervised to follow the principle of being “Benign, Upright, Courteous, Temperate, and Complaisant”, and refrain from talking about war and peace as if they were jokes.